Our Little Secret

I was sitting in my den, looking through the latest fashion magazines, when my apprentice came into the room and flopped down on the couch. “So,” I said, “you finally broke your spell, I see.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said, not looking at me.

“And what’s your problem?”

“What’s my problem?” she spit out, this time meeting my eyes. “I’m hopeless, that’s my problem.”

“Hopeless?” I repeated. “How are you hopeless? That was a beautiful piece of magic you did there.”

“And who did I use it on?” she asked, still angry. “Me, that’s who? I’m surprised you didn’t just leave your spell lock in place and keep me in your closet forever. I don’t deserve to be your apprentice.” She flopped back on the couch and turned away again.

“Hey!” I told her, getting a little angry myself. “That’s my decision, not yours.” She didn’t seem impressed. “Besides, it’s not like you’re the first witch to get caught by her own spell, you know.”

“Oh, yeah?” she said without looking up. “I bet you’ve never done it.”

“Of course I have,” I said before I could stop myself.

That got her attention. She jumped up, staring at me with wide eyes. “Really? No way! When?”

Well, I’d already opened my big mouth. I figured I might as well insert the foot. “Okay, but you have to promise to keep this as our little secret.”

“Sure,” she said, making a “cross my heart” sign over her breast.

“It was a couple of years ago,” I started. “I was down at this new clothing store in the Peachtree Mall. I really hadn’t planned on using my magic on that trip, but that was before I saw this cute little thing shopping in the lingerie department. She was just so cute. I had to have her.”

“So, what happened,” Ez asked. She was literally sitting on the edge of the couch by now.

“Well, I missed. The girl was checking different gowns in front of a mirror. No one was paying her any attention, so I figured it was the perfect time to get her for myself. I fired up a spell to turn her into a bra and sent it her way. But just before it got there, she dropped one of the gowns and bent over to pick it up. The spell went right over her backside, hit the mirror and headed right back at me before I could stop it.”

“You turned yourself into a bra?”

“Worse,” I told her. “I turned myself into a bra in a lingerie store. I wasn’t on the floor for ten seconds before some industrious sales clerk came by and found me there. The next thing I know, I was on a hanger and on the rack with the real merchandise.”

“Oh my god!” Ez shouted. “Did you get bought?”

“I did,” I admitted, “and by the very girl that I was trying to change with that stupid spell.”

Ez’s jaw dropped. “How long were you stuck? Did she wear you?”

“Once,” I said. “That evening. The next day, I reversed my spell, and got the hell outta there.”

“You didn’t change her?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

I shrugged. “I’m not sure myself,” I admitted. “I guess I felt that she’d earned her freedom. I don’t know.” I paused while Ez thought about that. “I did go back and let that sales clerk have it, though. Nobody puts me on a rack. I turned her into a braform and left her on the counter wearing a lacy little demi bra. Last time I was in the store, she was still there.”

“Wow,” Ez said. “I can’t believe that happened. To you, I mean. You’re the most powerful witch I know.”

“Well, it did,” I told her. “So, don’t go getting all ‘I’m hopeless’ just because you made a simple mistake. Got it?”

She nodded. “Got it. And don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.”

I gave her a warning finger. “Oh, it better be. Now, I believe you’ve got about a week’s worth of cleaning to catch up on.”

Without another word, she took off, but I could tell her mood was much more upbeat. I smiled, knowing that my little white lie had done its job.

That’s right. I said lie.

You see, here’s the thing. It’s true that other witches have gotten caught up in their own spells. It happens all the time. In fact, I still have an old rival out in my garden. Silly twit turned herself into the most darling little birdbath, she did. So, it’s not something that Ez should let discourage her too much. It could have happened to anyone.

Not me, of course.

No matter what a certain braform down at the mall might believe.