Home Alone

For the first time in several weeks I had the house to myself. Ez was talking a little time off to visit with a friend of her’s. Although it was nice having someone else to clean the house, but it was also nice not having silly cartoons on at all hours.

I had just cooked up some coco and put my feet up with my favorite comfy blanket on my lap when I hear the doorbell. Scowling, I set down the mug of hot chocolate and dropped the blanket on to the ground (I could feel its disappointment).

As I opened the door I’m accosted by two vacant headed nit wits in boring out fits. The man, taller and in a dull grey suit, stood in back of a woman in a drab jacket and dress. They both grinned at me with glassy stares.

“Hello, we want to talk to you about our Lord” blurted the woman in and all too practiced manner.

I grinned at them. “Well come on in. I’d love to hear all about him!” I wanted them inside to make sure that they couldn’t get away and to insure privacy.

Now I quite frankly my thoughts on Religion are my own and not anyone else’s business. But I’ve been around long enough for me to be pretty set in my beliefs so I always resent anyone trying to force their ideas on me. I take particular pleasure in adding preachy so-and-sos to my collection. Believe what you want, just keep it to yourself.

As they sat down and started to blather about how they think I should see the world I started to consider what to turn them into. These two didn’t seem like the type I would want to have as underwear, and they were far too boring to use as regular clothing. My stocking drawer was already full of sockotologists, and I had more than enough Jehova’s belts, and I really don’t need any more born again purses.

I looked back at my coco and realized just what I needed! As they rambled on I spun the spell. Their consistent yapping made me almost miss Ez’s dumb cartoons, almost. As the spell finally locked in they suddenly were silent.

I leaned back in my chair, resettled the blanket, picked up my chocolate and enjoyed the silence as well as my two new warm and fuzzy bunny slippers.