Finishing Buisness

The Hains. They had no business on this side of the Mason-Dixon and they know it. That’s why I hadn’t warned Ez. The Hain Family and My Family were feuding. A regular Hatfield and McCoy shindig. Only with magic. And now Ez was caught in the middle of it.

She had been turned into the hood ornament and was now being driven around by a particularly disagreeable member of that family, and her boy friend, who is at present a member of the fairer sex is in the back of the car about to be gang raped.

I quickly got into my car and took off following Ez. I had a tracking spell on her. As I’ve said, it pays to keep track of apprentices! I followed them across town to a run down house in the middle of nowhere. The Hain boy had set it up as his own personal club house for his gang. I spent a moment studying it for magical traps. The Hains weren’t good magicians as such, but they were very adept in the use of magical items. There were several stone animals here and there around the property as well as a statue of a jogger who made the mistake of cutting through their yard.

I cast a few spells on myself to protect me and I got out of the car. The boy’s car with Ez on the hood was parked, badly, in front of the house. I could hear the sounds of young men hooting and cheering inside.

As I approached the car the ornament that was Ez flexed and pulled free of the hood, she walked across the metal over to me. Her chrome arms moved around casting a spell, and the chrome disappeared as she grew back into her normal self.

“That Muther Fucker!!” She growled.

I motioned to her. “Come on, lets get out of here.”

“What about Terry? He’s still in there!”

“Terry is not my problem. You are. Now let’s go!”

“Stuff that, I’m going in, that asshole is not going to get the drop on me again!” she turned around and stalked toward the house.

I grabbed her just before she stepped on the grass. “That boy is a member of the Hain family! And if he sees you again he’ll know you’re a magic user and he won’t use such a simple spell on you this time. You’ll be a trophy on his hood permanently!”

“Are you going to let them rape Terry?” Ez was on the verge of crying.

I stood there and thought back to the days of the war. Solders, in both blue and grey, wandering the country side doing whatever they pleased to any woman, young or old. I escaped only because of my family’s powers, but too many of my friends did not.

I squared my shoulders and glared at the house. “Stay here!”

I walked up the path and pointed at the front door. It became splinters. The gang of young men stared at me, silhouetted by the sun in the open door. Terry was nude and dancing on a table, her mind under the Hain boy’s control. Had it been a Hollywood movie I would have said something memorable. Instead I just started to cast spells.

The Hain boy held out the longest. He had good defenses, I’ll give him that, but not good enough. I led Terry out while dragging the boy to Ez. “Here, he’s yours. I took off all of his protection spells.”

Ez grabbed him by the chin and looked him in the face. “I am not FAT!” he then vanished, and was replaced by a tiny chromed woman in Ez’s hand. “How do you like it? You’ll look so nice on the hood of my car!” Ez then looked up at Terry. “Are you Ok?”

Terry was wobbly on her feet. The mind control would blur out the last few hours. (A good thing if you ask me, even thought the gang never got past “Foreplay”.) “Ah, I’m alright I think. Where did I get these clothes?”

I laid my hand on Terry’s shoulder. “You and Ez went shopping remember?” In fact all the clothing that she had been wearing had been cut off and ruined by the gang -- the same gang that she was now wearing. A fitting solution to the problem if you ask me.

I grabbed the new hood ornament from Ez, “May I?” I first made sure that the boy inside was aware and alive, I then cast a spell I save for special occasions. He would now be a hood ornament forever. No spell I knew of could ever undo that change.

I looked at Ez, “Are you sure you want to put this fine ornament onto your car? You could always take his car.”

“A Hummer 2? No way.” Ez Grinned “Besides, I think he, er she’ll look so much better on my Gremlin!”

I actually heard the hood ornament scream.